Balls to the face

There are a few sports that I really detest.  Cricket is one of them, but possibly the most insidiously evil and shitty sports (I use the term loosely) is Golf.  Fuck - I hate this goddamn sport so much that I actually want to stab cute baby animals in the face when I see it on TV.  It makes me that irrationally furious.  No matter how much it wanted to up it's image with Tiger Woods, it's still a dull spectacle played by bland 'old before their time' arsecandles with vomit-inducing dress sense.  I am referring to golf pros here.  Coming from Scotland, the home of  'Satan's Past-time', I have unfortunately had to see many areas of natural beauty, teeming with wildlife, wiped the fuck out to put in another horribly bland, artificial-looking golf course.  Donald Trump is currently planning to build a ubercourse here by taking perfectly beautiful land and ass-raping it into a golf-course complete with hotel complex.  Just what Scotland needed - another fucking Golf course.  I can't leave my house without the risk of being hit by a golf ball.  How would you like it if you got balls in your face every time you left your house...... Actually don't answer that.

Now, golf does have a saving grace.  In the non-professional world, there are lots of hot guys toddling about the greens.  It's a great place to daddy-watch.  Although they do get annoyed if they can't play-through because you are standing in front of them masturbating.  Some people are sooo touchy.  It only takes a couple of minutes - now grip the shaft of your club and bend over again.  Pickings are little more slim (geddit - slim! - oh yeah, I went there) in the professional world.  Arnold Palmer maybe but meh.  However this is one that stands belly and ass above the others.  Craig Stadler.  Golf makes my eyes bleed but even through the red, I could see how hot he was.  And he's nicknamed 'the Walrus' because, well he's heavy and has a moustache.  Hey - that's witty and urbane humour in golfing circles I have you know (Golf.com refers to it as one of Golf's 'Greatest nicknames' - 'nuff said).  But wow - the filthy things I would do to this man.  A nice ass built for a good, hard pounding.  In my head, he's strapped into a sling, handle of his club up his ass and being wanked off until he comes all over that beautiful belly and chest.  I won't go into any more detail - I want to keep this a wholesome blog.  Also he has a very bad temper and I don't want him to come over here and punch me.   But I bet his balls smell good after he's finished a game.

Craig Stadler doesn't need a caddy - he uses telekinesis to select his clubs.

Craig demonstrates his deep throat technique.  In the next scene, he utilizes the other bottle to  demonstrate being 'spit-roasted'